“Beauty My Black” 2014 Blog Series – “Big Break”

I’m not going to sit here and write a lie to you. My life is not rainbows and cotton candy all day. After the problems that I encountered in my family and my own personal life, I decided to visit a church with my parents.

  I had the idea in my mind that just maybe, I would find a church family and friends. I truly felt like this was going to be my big break in life. I thought ahead of time and saw myself so happy. I’m a singer, always have been since the age of three. So It only seemed right to join the worship team.  I was very active at the church in hopes to promote change in my life.  I had so many hurtful relationships in my own family, that I just had such high hopes in this church.

 There were a lot of things that I didn’t like about this church. I pushed myself to go, because I felt like I had nothing to go back to. The church congregation, not only wanted to have their ears tickled every Sunday… but their eyes too. I started to notice that people who were white, were glorified and made to feel more comfortable there. God stopped me and asked me to look around at my surroundings one Sunday. What did I see? The church of Laodicea. In the bible, God describes this church as; rich and in need of nothing.

 These people never had a bad day, financial struggle, or a rainy cloud in their lives. How can people like this, help someone such as myself. I got tired of the racist remarks and stares. My mom has told me that, “A church ought to describe the way that Heaven looks. This would be full with colors of white, black, yellow, and every color imaginable.” After a year of going to that church, I had no more friends than when I walked in a year ago… none. That amazed me.  Just as fast as I’m writing these words, is the same rate of speed at which someone will write you off because of the color of your skin, the words you say, or just who you are.

  I felt like God was telling me to have some self-respect and care for myself. Soon after, I left with a very important lesson learned. I stand up for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone. God says that in this life you will have trials and tribulations. If God is for me, does it really matter who is against me? Be a voice, not an echo.



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